


Geniusi

by Madzie2000



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2018-12-12 09:00:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11733846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madzie2000/pseuds/Madzie2000
Summary: Reid had never heard of something so terrible in all his life. He’d heard stories about Arson before at least a thousand times, but to see the girl seated in the fetal position on the ground surrounded by dead bodies and the remnants of chairs... it certainly changed his perspective.A story of Spencer Reid learning to love despite his quirks and those of a lovely lady who had taken his breath away.





	1. A Sight to Behold

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place at any time you want it to, so long as Reid doesn’t have a love interest and Derek Morgan is still a part of the BAU. I’m not well versed enough in the show to be able to give an exact time, but if someone could tell me when and where this would fit, I’d be happy to take notes and add the appropriate detail to the beginning for die hard fans!
> 
> I had originally planned on posting this as a part of the There For Him series, but it got too large for that to happen - it's now a full-blown plotted story and I love it. Proud of myself for once XD

Reid had never heard of something so terrible in all his life. He’d heard stories about Arson before at least a thousand times, but to see the girl seated in the fetal position on the ground surrounded by dead bodies and the remnants of chairs... it certainly changed his perspective.

“I thought you said you needed me down here Morgan,” Reid said with a wavering tone to the man beside him “What’s this all about?”

“I’m almost certain that the girl over there can’t hear or see,” Morgan said as they watched the girl sit up only to feel a body beside her and recoil at the feeling of cold, dead skin.

“Of course she can’t see – if she could then she would have moved away or run off into a different part of the barn screa – ”

“Reid, shut up for a minute!” Morgan snapped.

Reid scowled but did as he was asked. He respected Morgan, but for now, that was all anybody seemed to do to for Reid at the BAU after his addiction got out.

“I know you had it rough the past few years but you’ve gotta help me out here – she’s scared, she doesn’t know what’s going on and she needs someone to help her,” Morgan said, pointing to the girl who was clearly shaking.

If he knew Reid, his desire to help might just get him out of his depression and bring him closer to the world he seemed to be so afraid of.

“I can’t,” Reid said flatly, turning to walk away.

Morgan grabbed tightly onto his arm and Reid grimaced, turning back.

“You don’t like people, I get that, but she doesn’t look like she wants to do anything more than find someone to run to. You’re the best chance I’ve got, cause we all know I’m not exactly a people person.”

“Neither am I,” Reid said fiercely as he wrenched his arm out of Morgan’s grip “Only you seem to get my jokes or acknowledge me like I’m more than the guy at BAU who ‘knows things’ and can uncover an UNSUB’s secrets.”

“But you **know people** , don’t you?”

Reid stared off into the distance for a moment, considering his options; he could either leave and forget Morgan had asked him here and try to ignore the girl’s trembling form... or he could try and persuade her to go with him to the BAU as a witness. He knew which one he preferred, but she couldn’t die in the barn surrounded by people she probably loved and cared for. It just wouldn’t be right. Making his decision, Reid moved to stand right in front of a body near the girl and called Morgan over.

“Move the bodies so she can stand up without walking over or on them,” Reid said slowly, making sure he didn’t speed through his explanation “That’ll eliminate some of the psychological strain.”

Morgan shook his head as Reid began babbling under his breath, calling in more men from outside to help move the corpses away from the scene.

“What next Wikipedia?” Morgan jibed, earning himself a mix of confusion and amusement in Reid’s glare.

“Wait for the magic to happen,” Reid said, staring the girl down as if she were a vicious dog.

She stayed still for a few seconds before reaching out her hand again, to see if the bodies were still there. When her hands met nothing, the girl looked around with terror in her eyes. Morgan had snuck behind Reid and moved him forward across the concrete, urging him to do something himself rather than stand back and wait for the girl to magically regain her missing senses. Morgan began walking backwards after letting his hands leave Reid’s back (something he had thought Reid would resist) and walked out to the other officers, investigators and the fire brigade who had put out the small fire left after the explosion. There was already an ambulance on standby.

“One of mine from the BAU is inside with the only survivor – we’re gonna need a stretcher if he hasn’t brought her out in the next 5 minutes,” Morgan said as people began moving across from houses to see what had happened “The situation is very delicate and the last thing that kid needs is a reason to be afraid. Any ID on the bodies?”

Inside of the barn, the girl had grown tired of searching the floor with her hands and stood up, putting her feet out slightly to feel her way around the barn. The unusual zombie walk Reid had expected however, wasn’t what he got. She was slow and almost graceful, moving her feet tentatively to search ahead of her for any obstacles. In short, she was smart. He liked smart. Who was he kidding? He  **was** smart.

“Okay Spencer, you’re a grown man,” Reid was whispering to himself “Put out an arm and she’ll try to run when she thinks it’s the one that dropped the grenade – when she realises you’re not, she’ll take a hold of your shirt and you can lead her out like a pachyderm in Africa.”

The girl must have felt the straw move at Reid’s feet, because she froze and her eyes opened wide, clearly expecting something bad to happen. Reid bravely put out his arm and watched the girl do the same, revealing bad burns under her long, black cardigan. She’d need an ambulance for that and he knew just where to find it. When she touched his arm, she shrieked and withdrew from him, tripping and falling backward toward the ground. Instead of letting her get hurt, Reid grabbed a hold of her arm and pulled her toward him, hard. The girl practically fell into his arms and he froze. This definitely hadn’t been part of the plan – sometimes Reid hated being human. She was shaking in his arms and he had to ransack his brain for something comforting, but nothing he could possibly say would calm her. He had already grabbed a hold of the arm that was badly burnt and caused her pain, so he certainly hadn’t helped himself. Out of nowhere, an image of a mother holding her child flashed into his head – he had seen it when he had walked out of the BAU to get a coffee one sunny day. The little girl had grazed her knee and her mother had leaned down to hug her, comfort her. He was no woman, but men could be gentle too. Considering the scene he had come to observe only a few minutes ago, they could also be violent beyond reasoning. In all honesty, despite his fears, he preferred to be the former. Leaning forward almost robotically, Reid put his arm around the girl’s shoulders and ran his hand through her dark brown hair without even thinking. For a moment she tensed up, but as soon as he rested his head against her temple, she put her hands around his waist and began sobbing. Rather than the fight or flight response he was so used to following, Reid stood very still and noticed the odd calmness that fell over him. Usually his mind would wander and lead him down a different train of thought, but this embrace he had many recollections of seeing brought his mind to the present. Now came the easy part – letting her go. Reid pulled his arms back and moved his head away and the girl did the same, wiping away tears from her eyes despite the pain it caused her hands. Reid took a hold of the girl’s sleeve and led her forward, not daring to take a hold of her arm should he grab onto more burns. As they got out into the light, people began crying.

One woman seemed to be beside herself with grief when she said to Morgan “I heard the explosion and... oh God, Emma! Why would she do this to her family?”

“We don’t know if it was her,” Morgan said as he looked down at the woman “What person would set off an explosive and forget to run?”

The woman made a face of disgust and quickly walked away while Morgan took note of the fact that she hadn’t shed a tear.

“Nasty family,” he heard her mutter.

Reid led the girl over to the Ambulance where one of the Paramedics with greying hair was quick to examine her eyes with a small light.

“Damage to the eyes might not be permanent,” said the older Paramedic, clicking his fingers beside her ears “But her hearing could be permanently damaged considering how close she was. Not as close as the others though...”

The man glanced over at the bodies still being identified.

“Her name is Emma Vincent and as it turns out, the parents were in there,” Morgan said as he walked closer to Reid, the girl and the Ambulance with its flashing lights “We need to find her a place to stay hidden. The UNSUB wouldn’t want his surviving witness out and about, especially if they realise she could talk soon.”

Reid was thinking through a list of people who could take Emma under their wing until she could speak again, but judging by the constant stare he was receiving from Morgan, he had a better idea.

“I’m not letting a kid into my apartment,” Reid said stiffly “I’m not a people person and yes, I do know **people** , but I don’t know **girls**.”

Morgan laughed and said “Very few men do. Look, you convinced her to come out and she seems pretty calm now. All you have to do is comfort and protect her – I’m sure you’re capable of doing that. But first things first: they’ve got to take her away and treat all those nasty burns.”

Reid stood stiff as a board, unsure of himself. Looking after another person when he could barely look after himself according to some of the team? Yeah, this would work out just fine. Noticing Reid’s unease, Morgan sat a hand carefully on Emma’s arm and she winced, but said nothing more. He guided her to the stretcher and put her hands on it so that she would understand. Reid saw her brow furrow and an idea suddenly popped into his head. Moving over next to Emma, Reid took a hold of her unscathed right hand and traced out a single word on her open palm.

AMBULANCE.

Emma nodded in understanding and carefully moved herself up onto the stretcher. Reid put out his own hand – heedless of the germs he would usually be worried about – and let her write something on his hand.

_AND YOU?_

Reid glanced over at Morgan who raised his hands as if a gun had been aimed at him.

FINDING WHO DID THIS. GOODBYE FOR NOW?

Emma nodded and almost reluctantly let herself be lifted into the ambulance. The sensation of being lifted almost into a seating position was so terrifying without sight or sound that Emma’s knuckles whitened almost instantly on the metal frame of the stretcher. Once she was in and the doors were closed, Reid let out the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. As the ambulance drove away, Reid’s eyes were trained on the back doors. **Why** this was happening, he didn’t know. But he could put words to what **was** : he’d fallen in love at first sight.


	2. An Investigation of Sorrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid and Morgan visit Emma in the hospital with some seriously saddening consequences...

Reid liked hospitals: they were clean, sanitary and they were the safest place to be if something bad happened. If you got injured, they could patch you up. If you felt scared, someone would hold your hand and tell you it was okay. In honesty, the hand holding thing sometimes made him feel frightened. But now, as soon as he thought of fear, he thought of Emma. She couldn’t see what the doctors or nurses were doing around her; for all she knew the man who killed her family and her friends was in that room preparing to murder her or botch a surgery. Had Reid been in her position, he was sure she would have at least thought of it once since then, considering his answer to her question. After gathering intel on the UNSUB from the scene, it was clear that the suspect had taken the grenade from the host’s family’s bunker under the house. As it turned out, the owner of the house had created a Tornado shelter in their rather secluded property. Whoever had set off the grenade inside of the bonfire Emma and the other people had been sitting around was familiar with the second family; they knew the Green’s and didn’t care that the Vincent family were in the way. Morgan had asked Garcia to find a link between the two families and only a few social media posts had been found from one of the girl’s phones – the Green family was related to the Vincent’s by marriage. Emma’s father Matthew had a younger sister named Helen who married Alex Green, her high school sweetheart. At least, that’s what one of his daughters from a previous marriage had said on Facebook. While Reid was analysing these facts on his head, as well as taking in Morgan’s observances of the people who had gathered by the tape surrounding the crime scene. While his brain was working overtime, Reid’s mind became enrapt in facts and ignored the outside world. So enrapt, in fact, that he hadn’t heard Morgan half-shouting next to him as they walked toward the room where Emma was left to rest.

“Hey!” Morgan said a little louder, drawing no less than five people’s attention “Are you listening?”

Reid shot him a look of pure malicious intent and Morgan actually shuddered.

“Remind me never to piss you off,” Morgan joked.

“I thought my expression would have been fair warning,” Reid said flatly.

Morgan put out an arm and stopped Reid from walking any further, pointing to a viewing window on their left. As soon as he looked over, Reid could see Emma staring back at him, squinting. A doctor walked up to Morgan and began discussing her burns and various tests they had run.

“... and we had a hell of a time putting her out to run them all! Because she didn’t know what was going to happen she had a panic attack. That’s a lot to go through when you’ve only been out of school for 2 years.”

“So she’s 20 then?” Reid said, his eyes not moving from Emma’s face and the odd, squished look of her features.

Though Emma couldn’t see that she looked like an idiot, she laughed to herself a little, perhaps knowing what it had looked like once upon a time after seeing it in a mirror. Reid smirked and turned his head sharply when he heard the roll of wheels on the ground. One of the policemen from the crime scene had brought a decently sized suitcase of deep purple. Reid’s brow furrowed for a moment, but it didn’t take him long to know what was going on.

“You really want her to stay with me then?” he said to Morgan with a lacklustre tone.

“You guessed it Pretty Boy,” Morgan said as he gave Reid another push, this time in the direction of the door.

“Morgan, I can walk perfectly fine... especially if you’d stop touching my back!”  
Morgan moved his hand away and Reid straightened up.

“Next time, just ask me.”

Reid walked into the room and saw a chair next to Emma, so he took it and moved it closer to the bed. Emma was completely unaware of his presence and it was quite fascinating, but worrying all at once. She’d probably jump out of her skin when she realised that he was right next to her. As he had done in the barn, Reid put out his arm and, when Emma moved to sit up properly, she brushed past his wrist. As anticipated, she jolted, but quickly found his palm and wrote letters as they had done before.

 _DO I KNOW YOU?  
_ Reid grinned and kept it short.

FIRST ONE TO TALK WITH YOU.

Emma smiled and shook his hand.

_I AM EMMA. WHO ARE YOU?_

DEPENDS – MY NAME IS SPENCER, BUT MOST CALL REID.

_HI REID. PEOPLE CALL ME EM. AM I HERE TONIGHT? FOR OBSERVATION AND ALL THAT?_

PROBABLY – YOU WERE BADLY BURNT.

 _ARE YOU_ A _POLICEMAN?_

NO, DIFFERENT BRANCH OF LAW ENFORCEMENT. WE DO WORK CLOSELY THOUGH.

_FIGURED AS MUCH._

ABLE TO SEE ANYTHING YET? OR HEAR AT ALL?

_NO, BUT I FEEL A LOT BETTER. ARMS AREN’T AS SORE. BE USELESS FOR A FEW DAYS AT BEST._

THE POLICE ASKED YOU QUESTIONS? IF NOT, I’M HAPPY TO LISTEN.

_I DIDN’T SEE WHO IT WAS EXACTLY – WE GOT COLD AND_

Reid suddenly rapped on her hand and Emma stopped moving.

WAIT! LET ME GET A PEN AND PAPER.

Reid practically ran out of the room and asked the officer for a note pad, which he just so happened to have with him. Reid pulled a pen out of his pocket and went back to sit beside Emma. Instead of using his fingers, he was now writing with the top end of the pen.

TIMES AND FACTS ARE WHAT I NEED. BUT FACTS ARE JUST AS GOOD.

_SOMETIME AROUND 12 WE GOT TO THE GREEN’S. 2:30 WE WENT AROUND INVITING SOME OF THE NEIGHBOURS. AN OLD LADY DOWN THE ROAD TOLD US WE SHOULD LET HER GRANDSON COME OVER BUT MY COUSINS SAID NO._

Reid underlined the last sentence.

WHY DIDN’T THEY WANT HIM THERE?

_OLD LADY HATES THE GREEN’S BECAUSE MY AUNT AND BETH AND LANI’S DAD ARE COUSINS. SHE’S VERY RELIGIOUS AND DESPISES IT._

WHAT HAPPENED AFTER 2:30?

 _EVERYBODY SAID THEY COULDN’T COME – EXCEPT THE OLD LADY’S GRANDSON. HE WAS A NO SHOW. AT ABOUT 4_ _WE ALL HEADED IN FOR DINNER AND MY UNCLE SAID WE WERE GOING TO HAVE A SMALL BONFIRE IN HIS BARN. HAD TO BE SMALL OR WE’D BURN IT DOWN. TOO LATE, HUH?_

Emma’s eyes welled up and she immediately began swiping at her tears with the back of her hand. Reid put down the pen and grabbed hold of the hand still glued by one finger to his palm, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. Now he wrote on the back of her wrist with his other hand, the notepad resting in his lap.

SORRY.

_YOU DIDN’T SET OFF THE GRENADE. HE OR SHE SHOULD BE APOLOGISING._

Reid picked up the note pas and began writing with one hand: one on Emma’s hand and the other on the notepad with his pen.

DID THEY TELL YOU WHERE YOU HAVE TO GO WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOSPITAL? OR HOW MANY PEOPLE SURVIVED?

_NOBODY CAME FOR ME SO I WAS THE ONLY ONE, RIGHT?_

YES. CAN YOU KEEP GOING AT ALL?

_IF IT’LL HELP, YES. WE DIDN’T GET THE FIRE STARTED UNTIL ABOUT QUARTER PAST 5. FAMILY BEING ROWDY. WE WERE ALL SITTING THERE STARING INTO THE FLAMES AND I MOVED BACK BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE FIRE WAS GETTING A BIT TOO BIG. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BRIGHT FLASH OF LIGHT. THE NEXT THING I KNOW, I’M TOUCHING DEAD HANDS, DEAD BOD..._

Emma couldn’t scribe anymore. Her eyes were flowing with tears and her heart felt like it was about to shatter into a million pieces just thinking about her family, her sweet cousins who were young teenagers gossiping in a corner, her father and his brother-in-law standing on the far side of the fire out of her field of view discussing horse racing and her mother and her sister-in-law chatting about how mature Emma was in comparison to Beth and Lani at their ages. It was enough to make her sick. Reid put the pen and notepad under the chair, deciding to leave them there for the time being. Rather than leaving like his mind was screaming at him to do, to go and speak with Morgan, he stayed. Lifting himself out of the uncomfortable plastic-metal hybrid chair, Reid made his way to the bed and sat down on the very edge. Hesitating only for a moment, he put an arm around Emma’s shoulders, making small up and down motions with his hand to comfort her. He’d seen men do it to their sons before, and who was he to assume it didn’t work for women too? Emma had gone rigid, but after a little while she relaxed and Reid looked over at Morgan, who was utterly speechless. His mouth seemed to be hitting the perfectly polished floors outside of the room. Reid picked up one of Emma’s hands and wrote something down on her waiting palm.

WE HAVE CLOTHES AND OTHER NECESSITIES FROM YOUR HOUSE. YOU’RE STAYING WITH ME UNTIL YOU GET ALL YOUR FACULTIES BACK. AFTER THAT, I’M THINKING YOU’LL STAY WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS STABILITY. I ALSO HAVE TO TALK TO A COLLEAGUE.

Emma smiled and realised that she almost missed having Reid’s arm around her shoulders. If the intensity of his hug earlier was anything to go by, he didn’t usually hug people. _Genius types are like that_ , she told herself, _I was like that once a long time ago_. Reid slipped off the mattress and Emma pulled her knees toward her chest a little, her arms sitting across her knees in as comfortable a position as she could manage. Reid was outside with the suitcase, ready to pull it in after handing over the notepad, but Morgan held him back.

“There was one test the doctor’s didn’t run so they wouldn’t put Emma through anything that wasn’t necessary,” Morgan said, his tone deepening, an indication that he had something important to say.

“I’m confused for once – what kind of testing would they have skipped out on?” Reid said, utterly bewildered by the idea that trained professionals would skip over something so important.

Morgan whispered something so quietly Reid was sure he – like Emma – had also gone deaf.

“Did you say ‘rape kit’?” Reid whispered back, his hand tightening on the handle of the suitcase and his knuckle’s turned white.

Morgan nodded and held Reid’s gaze to drive his point home.

“Ask her if anything else happened, but don’t make it too obvious.”

As Morgan began walking away to grab himself breakfast (which he’d skipped to avoid returning it to the outside world when he saw the crime scene), he turned back.

“Oh, and Reid!” he called “Good luck Pretty **Lover** Boy!”

Reid felt his face grow warm, so he hurriedly opened the door and rolled the suitcase in, looking back out of the window. Morgan waved goodbye and winked, making him grow angry. Emma was on the bed staring down at her lap, looking almost anxious. Since this seemed to be the safest way to get Emma’s attention, Reid outstretched one arm in front of her until she moved and bumped him. Emma jumped a little, but smiled despite herself.

_STILL NOT USED TO IT._

Reid knew Emma couldn’t see it, but he nodded his agreement.

HAVE THE SUITCASE FOR YOU. NEED A HAND WITH ANYTHING?

Emma’s face blushed furiously and Reid knew in that moment that she either wanted to get changed or thought he might stay behind. However, she was quick to respond despite the red colour in her cheeks.

_HELP ME OVER TO THE OTHER CHAIR? CAN’T CHANGE ON THE BED._

SHOULD I FIND SOMETHING IN THERE FOR YOU? I SWEAR NOT TO LINGER ON THE LINGERIE.

Emma laughed and Reid found that the sound was not the usual ‘ha’ that came from the throat, but rather a strangled squeal that left her coughing. She’d lost her voice.

_OKAY. SHIRT, LONG PANTS AND A JUMPER IF I NEED IT. NO LINGERIE._

Emma had grinned while she was writing the last word and Reid almost laughed. Somehow, she was pulling through with as much mental strength as the Hulk had physical brawn.

I’LL HOLD YOUR ARMS, BUT IF YOU FALL I CAN’T DENY THE POSSIBILITY OF TOUCHING YOUR CHEST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Emma laughed silently now and Reid’s heart gave a small leap. She seemed happy, but how long could that last in her condition? Emma pulled back the sheets and slid herself forward toward the edge of the bed, her skirt dragging behind her like a small train on a wedding gown. Reid took a hold of each of Emma’s hands and felt them shake a little, which he found odd. Emma seemed to be a little at war in terms of her emotions. Of course, that was understandable considering the situation she had found herself in. But when Emma stood up, he realised she was shaking for a different reason. On the back of her deep grey skirt was a stain – on the crisp white sheets of the hospital bed and the skirt Emma was wearing was blood; now his heart dropped like an anchor. It could only have come from one place. Forcing down his nerves and his anger, Reid moved Emma to the chair and quickly pulled out a shirt emblazoned with STAR WARS characters, a clean pair of jeans and a thin black jumper with a hood. Reid could feel his mind swarming with questions: at least one could be answered. _While Emma was losing her sight and her hearing, someone came along and took advantage of her, leading to the loss of her voice._ It sickened and maddened him, but he refused to let it show. Reid dropped the clothing into Emma’s lap and told her what they were one by one, setting them down on the thin arm rests and putting her hand on them so she could find them easily.

_THANK YOU. HOW CAN I TELL YOU I’M READY TO LEAVE?_

DON’T KNOW IF YOU CAN. I’LL ASK MY COLLEAGUE I MENTIONED EARLIER. HIS NAME IS DEREK MORGAN. BUT WHEN I CAN COME BACK, SLIP THIS ACROSS THE FLOOR TO THE CHAIR’S LEFT. IT’S PERFECTLY IN LINE WITH THE DOOR.

Emma felt along the arm of the chair carefully so that she wouldn’t push the clothes onto the floor. When she found Reid’s hand, she also felt bristles and a handle – her black hairbrush.

_UNDERSTOOD. SEE YOU IN A MINUTE REID._

Reid patted Emma’s hand and almost immediately brought it up to his mouth as he left the room, quickly pulling the curtains closed to give Emma privacy. He was so enraged that his shoulders shook, even as he slid down the wall by the door and let tears cascade down his cheeks. He was always so calm, collected, but the sight of the blood on the bed and Emma’s silent tears had torn down walls he had kept up for so long. Reid didn’t care if someone saw him with his elbows on his knees, sobbing into his hands. Morgan came around the corner with a half-eaten bagel to see something he had never expected: Reid, crying into his hands. He jogged over, dropped the bagel back into a paper bag and sat a hand on Reid’s shoulder, crouching down next to him.

“Reid?” Morgan said feverishly “Reid, what happened?”

Morgan rubbed Reid’s shoulder until finally the younger man shrugged him off and composed himself enough to speak.

“Blood,” Reid said with bloodshot and glassy eyes as he held back more tears “There was blood on the bed when Emma got up. She’s in there changing and until her hairbrush hits the door, we can’t go in.”

“You know what that means, don’t you Reid?” Morgan said delicately.

Reid made a high-pitched whimper, something he was sure he’d never done before and slowly stood with his back pressing into the wall. A sudden but quiet knock at the bottom of the door told him that Emma was done dressing and rather quickly too.

“I couldn’t put her through that – do you have any idea how invasive those tests are?” Reid said in a whisper, aggression leaking into his tone.

Morgan dropped his arm from Reid’s shoulder and looked around for a nurse.

“I’ll see if they can do whatever it is they do with less invasive methods if that’s what you’re so concerned about,” Morgan said, keeping his expression clear.

He hadn’t dealt with many cases where rape was involved, but clearly, neither had Reid. The younger man nodded and opened the door to see Emma with her fist supporting her head, staring with a bored expression at the door. Reid held out his hand and rested it on her arm, making her jump a little.

_YOU HAVE SOME CRAZY IDEAS, BUT AT LEAST THEY WORK._

THERE’S ONE LAST TEST THE DOCTOR’S WANT TO DO. YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE IT.

_YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME. I CAN GUESS FOR MYSELF._

Reid was taken aback – did she know he had seen the blood? Had she somehow realised she’d been bleeding? Was it his body language that gave it away?

MORGAN IS TALKING TO THEM ABOUT MAKING IT LESS INVASIVE SOMEHOW – IF NOT...

Reid stopped moving his hand just as Emma had done when they spoke about everything that had happened last night. His hand went limp and he felt a cold shiver move up his spine. Emma put her other hand at his wrist and moved it up along his arm, gently pulling him into a hug. On the back of his hand, she wrote him a message.

_THANK YOU FOR CARING. PEOPLE SELDOM DO._

Reid tightened his arms around Emma and they stayed that way for a long while. Emma couldn’t say it out aloud, but even though she couldn’t see Reid, she could feel his heart racing, the heat of his body against hers... he was either afraid, disgusted or he felt something for her. At least, that’s what her Psychology degree told her. Then again, it could be almost any emotion – those two ‘symptoms’ could be used to designate a name to any emotion, even anger. But given his current position, only those three seemed plausible. How she hated not being an average person. Reid rubbed her shoulder before running his hand down to hers.

YOUR BRAVE. THAT IS A GOOD QUALITY TO HAVE.

_IT'S EASY WHEN THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU ARE JUST THE SAME_ _._


	3. House and Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Reid leave the hospital and head home to get Emma acquainted with Reid's apartment...

Reid was never sure about having girls in his home, but considering that his guest was both blind and deaf, he could probably walk around nude without any consequences. However, he had no plans on doing this, in case Emma regained her vision and simply because he found it to be rather embarrassing. Then again, she didn't seem the type to peep. Emma had apparently agreed to do the full examination, so Reid was full of angst until finally, Morgan was leading her out through the doors, his hand on her shoulder.

"Looks like you haven't slept Reid," Morgan said, concern and a hint of surprise in his tone.

"I did sleep Morgan - I just stayed up late doing some research and blind-proofing my house," Reid replied coolly.

Morgan smiled and Reid watched him write on Emma's hand. He could see that it was some kind of goodbye, because Emma shook his hand with a half-hearted smile. Clearly she hadn't enjoyed the day’s proceedings. Emma looked back toward Reid, her brow furrowing as she put out her arm. Reid took her hand and immediately wrote a message on the back of her hand.

READY TO LEAVE?

Emma rolled her eyes and smiled.

_OF COURSE I AM!_

Reid patted her hand and directed her to his car. Emma felt for the door handle and pulled open the passenger side, feeling for the roof so she wouldn't hit her head.

"She's pretty independent but that could change any day," Reid said as Morgan stared at Emma, who had managed to get into the car without injury "Especially if she has PTSD, which is highly likely given the amount of trauma she suffered."  
"When I went in this morning she was crying and trying to talk, but she just kept on grabbing her throat like she'd swallowed glass."

Reid nodded and said nothing, smiling and waving goodbye to Morgan. He started the car and Emma sat in silence as they drove to his apartment. When they got to the apartment (with Reid holding onto Emma's jumper to lead her in the right direction) he finally released her and placed her hand on the door. On it was the letter 'R', which Emma recognised almost at once after feeling it's shape. Thinking that he didn't have to explain why the letter was there, Reid opened the door and led Emma inside, leaving her suitcase by the door. She was now holding onto Reid's shirt and letting him lead her to the kitchen. On each drawer was a word in large foam letters: one said 'CUTLERY', another 'CUPS' and many of which had not been labelled at all. Reid saw her thinking over these and began to fill her in.

ANYTHING YOU COULD CUT YOURSELF ON I MOVED AWAY. AND THE BLIND SHOULN'T HANDLE PLATES.

Emma seemed to be annoyed by this, but quickly lost her expression of frustration and nodded with a knowingness he hadn't expected. Apparently she was rational in the least. Emma didn't mind being led around, but the lack of furniture confused her, she pointed to her hand and then to where she thought Reid was standing. He gave her his palm and she began writing.

_WHERE IS EVERYTHING? HAVE YOUR COUCHES STOLEN OR SOMETHING?_

I MOVED ALL THE FURNITURE AGAINST THE WALLS SO YOU WOULDN'T GO BUMPING INTO EVERYTHING AND KNOCK OVER A VASE OR FOOD ON THE COFFEE TABLE.

_GOOD IDEA. I'M CLUMSY ENOUGH WHEN I CAN SEE!_

Reid laughed and patted her shoulder, leading her off toward his room. On the door was the word 'BED'. Emma stared at it for a moment too long and he had a feeling he knew what she was going to ask. She beckoned silently for his hand again.

_NOT PLURAL - SO WE'RE SHARING?_

I PLANNED ON SLEEPING OUT HERE. IT IS WARM ENOUGH, BUT MAYBE NOT AS COMFORTABLE.

_I KNOW I CAN TRUST YOU._

I DON'T TRUST ME. DON'T MAKE ME EXPLAIN.

Emma's eyes widened and she back up a little, her legs bumping into a wall. Since she hadn’t seen it, it made her jolt.

_WHAT WAS I WEARING WHEN YOU FOUND ME?_

A CARDIGAN AND A SKIRT. MY NAME IS SPENCER REID.

Emma located Reid's shoulder and punched him with enough force to make his rub his arm.

_DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT! YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF NOW._

I DON'T USUALLY LET PEOPLE TOUCH ME OR GET CLOSE TO ME OR EVEN STAY IN MY APARTMENT UNLESS THEY ARE A MAN, A CLOSE FRIEND OR A COLLEAGUE. SOMEHOW YOU'RE DIFFERENT. I'M ALSO A GENIUS WITH AN IQ OF 187.

In the back of her mind, Emma felt partially enraged. If he wanted to throw numbers around, so would she.

_WELL WHADDYA KNOW? I HAVE AN IQ OF 157. GREETINGS FELLOW NERD._

REAL MATURE. WHAT IS YOUR AREA OF EXPERTISE?

_ENGLISH, HISTORY AND GENERAL KNOWLEDGE. I DISAGREE WITH PEOPLE ABOUT THEIR LOVE OF NUMBERS AND CONSTANTLY READ NOVELS._

Deciding to leave the conversation as it was, Reid now led her to the bathroom and toilet, which were also labelled, but only with single letters.

RAN OUT BY THE TIME I GOT HERE.

_WHY?_

LABELLING DRAWERS IN MY ROOM FOR YOU. THAT WAY YOU WON'T ACCIDENTALLY COME ACROSS MY LINGERIE.

Emma was having a hard time stoping herself from laughing because she knew how much it hurt, but she gave in, small puffs of air coming from her nose in quick succession. She swallowed and winced as her vocal chords protested against attempting to make such a sound. The pain was like a small cut now – a mere scratch compared to her shoulders and her arms.

HUNGRY AT ALL?

  1. _JUST NEED SOMETHING TO DO. GOING TO GET BORED QUICKLY. WITHOUT BOOKS AND DON'T WANT TO LEARN BRAILLE. KNOW ENOUGH LANGUAGES ALREADY_.



HOW MANY NOT INCLUDING ENGLISH?

_JAPANESE, SOME WELSH, FRENCH AND ROMANIAN. I LOVE EUROPEAN AND ASIAN LANGUAGES BECAUSE OF THE SIMILARITIES IN THEIR STRUCTURE. SUPPOSE LINGUISTICS IS ANOTHER INTEREST OF MINE._

DID THE DOCTORS TALK TO YOU ABOUT SPEAKING TO A COUNSELLOR?

_MORGAN SAID YOU WERE A DOCTOR... IS THAT TRUE?_

Reid drew a tick on Emma's hand and she smirked.

_GRADUATED AT 16 AND WENT TO COLLEGE FOR DEGREES SO I COULD TEACH ENGLISH BUT THEY INSISTED I ONLY DO A LINGUISTICS COURSE. I'LL HAVE A PHD WHEN I TURN 21 IN A YEAR. MY STUDIES IN PSYCHOLOGY ONLY LASTED UNTIL I LEFT SCHOOL, SO I AHVE THE BASICS._

FORGET BLONDE BOMBSHELL, I FOUND A BRUNETTE ONE.

Emma quirked a brow with an expression Reid hadn't expected - she looked to be both flattered and interested to see if he had more to say.

_DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME REID? I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT ABOUT YOU. THE HUG IN THE BARN WAS LIKE HUGGING A WOODEN BOARD THAT SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A JELLYFISH._

I WOULD ASSUME SO, BUT I'VE NEVER HAD INTENSE ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE SIMPLY BY LOOKING AT THEM. QUITE IRREGULAR AND ERRATIC EVEN FOR ME.

_WELL THAT WOULD EXPLAIN YOUR COMMENT EARLIER ABOUT NOT TRUSTING YOURSELF. HONESTLY, I'M MORE FLATTERED THAN WORRIED. YOU DON’T SEEM TO BE THE LYING SORT._

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND - I CAN'T BE INVOLVED WITH YOU BECAUSE I'M AN INVESTIGATOR ON YOUR CASE.

_HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU THAT SPECIFICALLY?_

NO.

_THEN THERE'S NO NEED TO WORRY. ALSO, I COULD USE SOME WATER. I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE._

Reid watched Emma walk slowly toward the kitchen and move her hand along a bench until she found the drawer marked 'CUPS'. She put her hand onto the taps and found that some Blutack had been used to make the letters 'C' and 'H' for cold and hot. Emma placed one finger inside the cup while the others gripped it on the outside. The tap came on and when the cup was close to full, she turned it off and drank half so none would spill as she walked around in search of a place to sit. Emma quickly found the couch and sat down, feeling the cushion beside her sink in. Reid decided to write on her shoulder, as her hands were both glued to the cup.

I HAVE TO LEAVE IN AN HOUR, SO IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR ME, NOW IS THE TIME TO ASK.

_WHEN CAN I GET MY SIGHT BACK? OR MY HEARING AT THE LEAST?_

YOUR SIGHT SHOULD RETURN FIRST, BUT YOUR HEARING MIGHT BE PERMANENTLY DAMAGED; NOT DEAF, BUT THERE WILL BE SOME FORM OF HEARING LOSS.

_GUESSED MY HEARING WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME, BUT AT LEAST I'LL BE ABLE TO SEE THE FACES OF THE PEOPLE WHO HELPED ME FIND A MURDERER._

PERHAPS YOU COULD JOIN OUR TEAM NEXT YEAR? WE DON'T HAVE MANY TRANSLATORS AND YOU COULD CERTAINLY BE AN AGENT.

_SOUNDS FUN. I LOVE PEOPLE AND I LOVE THE CONCEPT OF PUTTING EVILDOERS BEFORE THE LAW._

Reid nodded solemnly when his phone began to ring.

"Hello? Now? Yeah, I'll head over as soon as I can."

Reid left the call and sighed before tapping one of Emma's hands. She quickly sculled the last mouthful of water in her small cup before letting him take her hand.

_THEY HAVE A LEAD AND CALLED ME IN EARLY. WILL YOU BE ALRIGHT?_

AS LONG AS YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WITH A KEY.

Reid drew a tick on Emma's hand again and she nodded with confidence. Giving her a quick goodbye rub on the upper arm (with a light touch to avoid causing her pain) Reid walked out of the door smiling.


	4. Investigation Gone Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all...

With Prentiss and JJ working on another case, this left Garcia, Reid and Morgan to solve Emma’s case. The others would have to be filled in later. Garcia was quickly pulling up profiles of family members and showing their links to members of the community, but only one person stood out.

"Emma mentioned a boy living with an old lady," Reid said as she pulled up pictures of the small arsenal stored under the house "He seemed to have some kind of relationship with one of her cousins. Speak to any bitter old women Morgan?"

"Yeah," he said bluntly "Marie. She sounded upset about the families and immediately assumed Emma set off the grenade. When I said she wouldn't have done it herself, she walked off in a huff and hurry."

Garcia pulled up a picture of an elderly woman with long grey-blonde hair.

"Okay, we've got Marie Saunders, legal guardian of Jonathan Sanders," Garcia said as she began scanning the profile of the boy and his grandmother "Jonathan's surname was changed by his parents when Marie's son married his wife who had no religious affiliation. His parents died in a car crash almost a decade ago. He would've been about ten years old. But here's the doozie."

"Either Emma's parents or her Aunt or Uncle were the driver," Reid said certainly.

"Very close, but that isn't quite right," Garcia said with a little more of a sullen tone "The oldest cousin Lani had just gotten her license when something went wrong with the cars steering. She survived with a broken arm and leg, but Jonathan's parents weren't so lucky."

"So either Marie decided she would sabotage the family get-together or - "

Reid was cut off when Garcia suddenly started speaking in rushed Spanish, indicating that something had gone wrong.

"Garcia, what's going on?" Morgan said when she finally started muttering in English.

"Someone's trying to hack into our files... and not intel on the crime. They're trying to bring down firewalls and access all the BAU’s personal files. They want to know where Emma is."

Reid's face grew pale and his muscles tensed.

"Garcia, you can't let them through!" Reid snapped almost automatically.

"If it was that easy Reid, I'd be able to find the guy. Alright, he's using a wi-fi hotspot in a MacDonald's, no, a home modem, hang on... a different hotspot on the other side of town, now he’s in an internet cafe down the road...”

Garcia’s voice trailed off as if she was lost in concentration, which Reid and Morgan knew she was.

“Damn it! I can't find out which user he is because he is somehow bouncing around his IP address like a ping-pong ball. Idios mio!"

Garcia’s fingers tapped away at keys and clicked on her mouse as Reid and Morgan listened to her speedy Spanish curses. Sensing her tension, Morgan tried to make light of the situation.

“Garcia,” Morgan said with a grin “I wouldn’t say that about the President if I were you. You know what he says about Mexicans.”

Reid blinked and looked over at Morgan.

“I got that one,” he said with a smirk.

Garcia once again broke out of her small fit and spoke to the team.

“I’ve got good news and bad news,” she said shakily “which do you want first Hot Stuff?”

“I’ll go with bad – rip off the bandaid.”

“Whoever hacked our server isn’t working from one computer – it’s a whole network of PC’s working together to hack our system. The IP is being used by multiple devices in some kind of web. They didn’t follow a specific pattern either. By the time I had locked onto them to track those bastards down, their trail went cold and moved elsewhere. And Reid, they got what they were looking for.”

“My address?”

“No, I don’t think so. The definitely know who’s looking after Emma, so you need to keep out of sight.”

Reid’s eyes widened and Morgan sat a hand on his shoulder, making him flinch.

“Come on, I’ll tail you home while Garcia and I try to track down one of the hackers,” Morgan said confidently.

He was secretly just as worried as Reid, but he didn’t want to show it, in case he grew anxious.

 

Some Time Later...

 

Emma was sitting on the couch, slowly peeling a mandarin that felt firm, but not enough that it had become too hard to eat. Something bumped her shoulder and she stiffened, only to feel a familiar hand on the back of hers. _Reid’s back,_ she thought with a smile. But Reid wasn’t smiling – he had been pale since he left the BAU and had refused to let Morgan give him a drink of a coffee he had brought along with him before going off to speak to the ‘old lady’ Emma had mentioned.

SOMETHING HAPPENED EM.

_WHAT? DID THEY FIND US?_

CLOSE ENOUGH – THEY KNOW WHO’S HIDING YOU. THEY HACKED INTO THE BAU AND A SPECIALIST AGENT COULDN’T TRACK THEM DOWN. SOMETHING ABOUT IP?

_OH GOD. CAN THEY FIND US HERE?_

IT’S HIGHLY LIKELY. THEY’LL PROBABLY FOLLOW ME WHEREVER I GO. HAVE TO HOPE THEY DIDN’T SEE US ON THE WAY OVER HERE FROM YOUR TOWN OR ELSE WE’RE DONE FOR.

Emma buried her face in one hand, the other holding the mandarin out to one side. Reid sat a hand on her shoulder and he felt tension build up, only to ebb away after a moment. She didn't move for a while, but she came to her senses and began writing on his palm.

_TIRED OF RUNNING. NEED TO REST - BEEN MEMORISING THE APARTMENT SINCE YOU LEFT. PRETTY EASY TO NAVIGATE. CAN I TAKE YOUR BED?_

OF COURSE. I'M NOT USING IT FOR A WHILE YET.

Emma smiled and Reid could see a slight puffiness to her eyes. She had been crying. Though he wanted to ask her why and make her talk, he knew that would only make it harder to get her to talk when he needed her to for the investigation. Reid watched Emma put her feet ahead of her as if they were her hands, feeling the floor in front of her. She found the door with her foot and read the letters. Convinced that she was headed into the right room, Emma walked in and began carefully feeling about to find the bed. When she did, she found it in a pristine, almost unused condition, much like the mandarin she'd sat on a tall set of drawers. _Clean freak_. With a grin, she sprawled out on the covers and noticed something odd...


	5. Tensions Rise and Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma has partially regained her sight and Reid is at war with himself about his feelings, but what will they decide to do about this sticky situation?

Reid opened the door a little and saw Emma was sitting upright, shaking and shivering, wide awake and clearly not prepared to sleep. She was mouthing a word repeatedly and Reid was amazed to realise it was his name. Emma's voice cracked as she attempted to speak, squeals and painful screeching coming out instead of a single understandable word. Reid was about to leave and find Emma's cup when he realised where she was looking – straight into his eyes. Emma seemed to be analysing his face, his body, everything she could see of him. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened a bit, as if she wanted to say something, but she only closed it again. As if to confirm her sight had returned, Emma waved, her hand still shaking. Secretly ecstatic, but unwilling to let her see it, Reid walked over and took her hand, writing in it.

HOW MUCH CAN YOU SEE?

_I KNOW YOU'RE BLONDE. I HAVE COLOUR, BUT NOT DEFINED SHAPES OR DETAILS. BETTER THAN NOTHING THOUGH._

Reid picked up one of Emma's hands tentatively and ran it over his cheek.

Emma immediately pulled her hands back and wrote on his palm.

_SHAVE. NO WOMAN LIKES STUBBLE THAT CAN SLICE BREAD BETER THAN A KNIFE._

Reid smiled despite himself and took Emma's hand back. His heart had begun to race again and he realised that his emotions were taking hold. The last thing he wanted to do now was make a move on someone who had been through as much as Emma had. It would be the ultimate insult to her and her family. Dropping her hand as if she had scalded him, Reid inwardly berated himself and walked away. Emma sat in stunned silence for a second, before walking out into the living room, seeing it for what it was. A genius' bachelor pad. The table only had four chairs (designed for 2 people at most) and a wall covered in books; he didn't even have a TV. Walking up close to the books, Emma squinted and stared at the covers long enough to read a few. Most of them were classics, written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, J.R.R Tolkien and even JK Rowling, with the lattermost using her male pseudonym Emma couldn't remember, but could feel under her fingers. Emma felt as though someone was watching her and turned to see Reid with his head buried in his hands. Though she couldn't see his face, his posture and the way he sat back slowly told her everything she needed to know. He was not only at war with himself about something, but he also wanted to speak. The way he began fidgeting with a wet wipe and cleaning the table in random intervals meant it was getting harder and harder to keep quiet. He slammed his hand on the table in a fist, but quickly unclenched his hand when he saw her flinch. She couldn't see his face for the shadows cast on it by the lack of midday sun, but she felt sure he was trying to hide his frustration behind a strained smile. Reid had book smarts, but she could read people like a book and she knew she had come across a particularly interesting page. Emma knocked on the table lightly and pointed to the seat across from Reid. His gesture was so practiced it hurt, but she took her seat anyway. He grabbed for her hand but Emma crossed them, trying to look mad, but she knew it came across more as fear than anything. This was going to go so wrong she could practically see it. She made a 'come here' motion with one finger and Reid put out his hand.

_I'M TOUGHER THAN I LOOK. I MIGHT HAVE CRIED EARLIER BUT THAT WAS GRIEF. WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THE EXPLOSION HASN'T REALLY CAUGHT UP TO ME YET. I KNOW YOU WANT TO ASK, SO ASK. BE A DOCTOR INSTEAD OF A LOVE SICK PUPPY._

Reid's hand physically shook, anger and pain digging into his mind like the knives he had set out for them both. His heated reply did nothing to change the situation.

IF YOU WANT TO PLAY GAMES TRY A BASKETBALL COURT. I AM SUPPOSED TO OPERATE AS A PROFESSIONAL - WHATEVER I FEEL FOR YOU ISN'T RIGHT.

_EVERY PERSON FEELS. YOU JUST REFUSE TO LET THOSE FEELINGS GUIDE YOUR ACTIONS AND INSTEAD YOU TURN TO A TEXTBOOK. HUMANS ARE ALWAYS OPEN TO INTEERPRETATION AND I DOUBT ANY TWO PSYCHOLOGISTS WILL HAVE THE SAME THEORY FOR ANY ONE CRIMINAL CASE. SOMETIMES A FEELING IS ALL WE HAVE TO GO ON._

Reid moved his hands back and Emma saw everything get blurrier. She was inwardly panicking that this was a dream, but when she blinked a few times everything had reverted back to a mass of colours in strange splotches rather than sharp edges and defined shapes. Reid took Emma's hand again, but this time he let one sit under hers as he wrote, rather than keeping it at a distance.

HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU'RE OKAY WHEN YOU WERE ATTACKED LIKE THAT?

Reid thought his mind was about to implode when he had his answer.

_I TRUST YOU AND I DON'T FEEL AFRAID ANYMORE. THE MORE I STAY CLOSE TO YOU AND GET TO KNOW YOU THE EASIER IT IS FOR ME TO FORGET._

EM YOU MAKE IT SOUND SO EASY. I'M NOT SURE I COULD BE A LOVING TYPE. THAT HUG I GAVE YOU WAS THE FIRST I'VE GIVEN IN YEARS - IT'S TAKEN ME THIS LONG TO GET USED TO PEOPLE SO MUCH AS TOUCHING MY SHOULDER.

Emma's mouth dropped open a little and Reid tried to read her expression. Somehow, he could get inside her head. She had hidden her bubbly personality behind a wall of nothingness - a blank slate. Then she began writing on his hand and her expression was focused.

_YOU'VE NEVER BEEN WITH SOMEONE? NOBODY?_

BEEN WITH? YOU MEAN DATED?

_NO. SEX._

NO.

Emma’s expression shifted to one of deep thinking – an expression Reid knew all too well. When she finally figured out what was plaguing her mind, she aggressively began scrawling on his hand.

_THEN THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SO AFRAID OF! THE SWEAT, HOW UNCLEAN IT IS. NOT TO MENTION NOT WANTING TO HURT ME... IT'S VERY SWEET, BUT DOING THAT TO YOURSELF DOESN'T MAKE YOUR EMOTIONS OR YOUR URGES GO AWAY. YOU COULD ALWAYS PROGRESS THROUGH THIS WITH A CHECKLIST. START WITH SOMETHING SIMPLE LIKE HUGGING. ONCE YOU'RE USED TO IT, MOVE ON._

YOU'RE OKAY WITH THIS ARRANGEMENT THEN? ME MAKING YOU A PART OF SOME SICK EXPERIMENT?

_IF YOU HAVE TO THINK OF IT AS AN EXPERIMENT, I HAVE NO ARGUMENTS. I SUPPOSE IT'LL BE EASIER TO THINK OF IT THAT WAY._

Rather than replying, Reid stood up and took Emma's hand, standing her up and wrapping his arms around her tightly, but not enough to make her arms ache as he had once before. Unlike the first time, he didn't feel tense, or even wooden. It was a welcome warmth that seeped into Emma's body and made her hug him right back, her cheek pressing into his shoulder. Reid let Emma go and wrote on her arm.

ONE OFF THE LIST.


	6. Making a List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Reid create a list into the night and it has some interesting results...

Emma had enjoyed eating her dinner with a proper knife and fork - Reid was a surprisingly good cook despite living alone. Perhaps one of the books on his shelf was a cook book. Shapes had become a lot more defined as the night grew darker, but Emma still couldn't see well enough to write things down on paper. When she could, she and Reid could have more complex conversations where he could really get to know her. But for now, they had to write as if they couldn't find the caps lock key on a keyboard, throwing around ideas Reid continued to scribble onto a piece of paper. So far the list included very simple things.

 

Hugging

Holding Hands

Sustained Contact

Kissing

Intercourse

 

However, Reid was not open to any of the suggestion Emma had tried to put in between the last two parts of the list.

I AM NOT TOUCHING MYSELF. THAT IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.

_ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER TRIED IT?_

I'VE DONE IT BEFORE BUT ONLY BECAUSE I HAD TO - I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT SIMPLY BECAUSE I WROTE IT ON PAPER. AND YOU'LL BE IN THE APARTMENT AS WELL!

_I CAN'T HEAR AND I CAN BARELY SEE. IF I FACE A WALL YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW I'M HERE._

AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE COME TO THE OTHER THINGS YOU MENTIONED? AREN'T YOU REQUIRED TO DO THE SAME THINGS IN PREPARATION FOR THE LAST ITEM ON THE LIST?

Emma pulled her lips in between her teeth and thought about her answer before writing it on Reid’s hand.

_NO COMMENT._

SO WE'RE BOTH VIRGINS THEN?

_YES. THAT'S WHY THE LIST IS NECESSARY. SO WE KNOW HOW FAR WE'VE COME AND HOW FAR YOU'RE WILLING TO GO._

NOW I KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT GOING ALL THE WAY.

Emma smiled and tried to laugh, but she only grabbed her throat and took another mouthful of her tea, her expression pained once more. Reid wrote on the back of her hand as he crossed hugging off of the list.

I'LL ADD IT TO THE LIST ON THE CONDITION THAT YOU SIT HERE AND NOT LEAVE UNTIL I COME OUT OF MY ROOM IF WHEN I DECIDE TO DO IT.

_AGREED. ALTHOUGH IT'D BE INTERESTING TO HEAR._

Emma winked comically and Reid slapped at her hand, making her laugh again. This time short puffs of air that escaped her nose and her throat felt soothed by the warm tea, which was beginning to grow colder.

_I'M DEFINITELY READY FOR BED NOW. I'LL TURN IN EARLY IF THAT'S OKAY?_

Reid nodded and Emma walked to her suitcase, pulling out a pair of pyjama bottoms and a top that said 'Queen of the Nerd' which caught Reid's attention when she came out to say goodnight.

_DON'T STAY UP TOO LATE PONDERING THE LIST._

THE NEWEST ADDITION WENT IN BETWEEN KISSING AND INTERCOURSE.

Even though Emma couldn't see Reid's face clearly enough, she was almost certain that he was blushing. Reid held on to her hand for a moment as they held one another's gaze before letting her go. Once Emma closed his bedroom door, Reid buried his head in his hands, thinking over all the possible outcomes of completing the next item on his list. Holding hands should be easy, considering how often they had to use their hands to communicate, but the feeling that he would do something wrong couldn't be shaken from his mind. Wanting nothing more than to sleep his worries away (and get things over with) Reid walked into his bedroom and saw Emma curled up underneath the blankets, her head aimed toward the bathroom. Since she wasn't likely to turn over, Reid was quick to change into a singlet and a pair of shorts for the sake of decency. If she'd found him in nothing but boxers, she'd probably find it very awkward. Then again, she might find a way to make a joke about it and turn over, thinking it was some strange dream. Reid couldn't remember doing it, but somehow he had found himself pressing lightly into Emma's back with the urge to hold her close to him, to protect her. He was grateful, at the least, it hadn't been a sexual urge, or else he'd have to sleep on the lounge outside where it was colder. Here it was warm and welcoming. Without warning, Emma turned over. She sought out his hand but instead found her hand on his cheek. Reid slid his hand under it and began writing.

YOU'RE FINE. IT'S ONLY ME EMMA.

As if to prove it, he pulled her in for a hug, but Emma pushed him back. There was the thing he had been expecting - a subconscious rather than conscious fear.

_WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HUGGING HAS BEEN DONE ALREADY._

I KNOW. I THOUGHT A HUG COULD COUNT AS SUSTAINED CONTACT. IT'S WHAT I KNOW.

_SO WHAT I FELT CLOSE TO MY BODY WASN'T YOU THEN? IT WAS SOME SPECTRE?_

THAT'S WHAT YOU WOULD COUNT AS SUSTAINED CONTACT? SPOONING, IS IT?

_YES - DID YOU MOVE BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO AVOID FRICTION?_

YOU'RE TOO GOOD AT GUESSING. I MIGHT NEVER HAVE A SECRET AGAIN WHEN YOU START READING MY FACE.

_IF I ROLL OVER AND YOU DECIDE TO MOVE TO THE FAR SIDE OF THE BED, I DON'T MIND. BABY STEPS IS ALL IT TAKES._

Reid fell silent and patted Emma's hand, unsure of what to do now that the conversation seemed to have ended. Emma rolled back over and brought her legs toward her chest again, getting comfortable before trying to sleep again. Reid thought of moving closer, but he decided to wait just a little longer. When he finally scooted close enough to lay an arm over Emma's waist, she jumped a little. He must have waited a little too long, because she looked at him and made a face that read of disapproval. It quickly dissipated and she turned her head back toward the wall, purposely moving herself forward in case Reid wanted to keep his distance. In his mind Reid was having second thoughts. Being this close didn’t seem so bad, but his heart was growing manic in his chest and he unconsciously breathed in deeply to calm himself. Rather than smelling the softener he used on his pillows, bed sheets and duvet, he smelt something sweet and almost familiar. It took him a moment to notice that the source of this strangely comforting aroma was Emma’s pyjama top which had come to be no more than an inch from his nose. Wanting to keep the feeling of safety close to him, Reid pulled Emma in close, heedless of personal space. She relaxed in his arms and they fell asleep. Their last, simultaneous thought before they fell asleep was: _another one off the list._


	7. The Kiss of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma finally confronts the person who killed her family: it's not gonna be fun.

Emma had woken early the next morning with Reid’s body pressed close to hers. In the back of her mind, a voice warned her that moving too much would be a bad idea, but she pushed it aside. He had assured her in more ways than one that he wouldn’t take things too far despite the subconscious desire he was exhibiting. _Why else would he be so quick to complete the points on the list?_ Emma reasoned. _Then again, it could be something more, couldn’t it?_ A four letter word circulated through Emma’s mind for a while - love. She closed her eyes and let Reid sleep for another half hour before she tried to pry herself away from him. As soon as she shifted he rubbed her shoulder before scrawling across her upper arm.

GOOD MORNING EM.

Emma rolled over and smiled at Reid, taking in the incredible detail she could see in his face. His pale eyes, the droop of sleepiness to his eyelids and even the stubble she had complained about not too long ago.

_SLEEP WELL REID?_

Reid nodded and noticed Emma’s eyes roaming over his face and he narrowed his eyes and wrote on her hand.

YOU CAN SEE MORE CLEARLY THEN?

_PERFECTLY. YOUR VERY HANDSOME._

Reid’s face became flushed and he practically jumped out of his bed, making Emma thrust a hand to her mouth despite knowing no sound would escape. Reid rushed to pick out clothing from his drawers and darted into what Emma assumed was the bathroom. He was by no means stupid enough to get changed in the living room where she could easily walk in and see him. She would take the opportunity to get dressed as well. Emma opened the bedroom door, only to see someone tall and definitely female standing over her. In her hand was a syringe with a name she couldn’t quite make out from the angle it was held on. The woman put a finger to her lips that were hidden by a large hooded jumper. Clearly, it belonged to someone even taller than the current wearer, as it sagged ridiculously around her arms and hung well below her hips. The woman pointed to the room where Reid would emerge from soon and then to the needle, making a movement. _She wants me to stab Reid with a drug? Does she want me to kill him? Who is she?_ Emma pushed the questions from her mind long enough to shove the needle into her pocket before escorting the woman into a closet in Reid’s room that she hadn’t noticed was there until now, closing the door and dressing herself. When Reid left the bathroom, he was sure he had closed the door and noticed that it was now slightly ajar. To avoid seeing anything he ought not to, Reid kept his eyes on the floor and knocked on the door to his bedroom. Immediately, Emma opened it with a smile and put out her palm. He sat his hand in hers and let her begin writing.

_WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TEACH YOU ANOTHER LANGUAGE? I WAS THINKING OF IT THIS MORNING._

Emma purposely turned Reid away from the door by leaving his room and walking out to the kitchen, peeling letters carefully from drawers and cupboards. Emma knew the intruder would want to see that she hadn’t told Reid he was in danger, so the best thing to do was move herself out of view and tell him subtly. She knew what to do, but how she would do it seemed underhanded. She’d been lying about her voice – she could speak from day one and simply refused to speak. Of course, her voice really had been strained: the pain she felt when she did try and speak was bad enough to put her off of it. Besides, her voice sounded terrible. Reid wouldn’t want to hear it. Emma put one chair at the table facing the window and gestured for Reid to take it, which he did with great confusion. In the doorway, the intruder gave a gesture with a small black object in her hand. Emma recognised it as a gun and suddenly grew anxious. If this didn’t work she’d die and so would Reid. This couldn’t end in tragedy. Emma leant on Reid’s chair and wrote on his shoulder.

_WHICH LANGUAGE DO YOU CHOOSE?_

Reid tapped the table and Emma put her hand down. Now was her moment... but she needed his answer first.

WELSH.

With his answer planted firmly in her mind, Emma quickly scrawled out a message.

_INTRUDER. WOMAN._

She paused and made an odd expression, as if she had made a mistake in what she had said and gave a dismissive shake of her hand to throw off the woman behind her. Emma thumbed the needle in her pocket and ‘tried’ again.

_WANTS TO KILL YOU. PREPARE TO DIE._

Reid said something and Emma couldn’t hear a word of it. She was sure it had been convincing enough, as the intruder pointed to the hand now holding the syringe. Without warning, Emma brought her left hand to Reid’s stubble-covered cheek and turned his head, pressing her lips lightly against his. As she did, she also brought the hand with the needle down into his shoulder. Reid’s body fell to the floor and Emma stepped back, nothing but shock on her face. The intruder stepped close and pulled her hood up, revealing a familiar face. It was an exact copy of the boy Beth and Lani had invited to the party. One word stood out in the dictionary at this moment in time: _twins._ Emma stepped toward the boy’s sister (at least, that’s who she presumed this was) and aimed the back end of the syringe toward her. Just as the sister was about to take it back, Emma seized her arm and stabbed the needle through her skin, injecting half of the liquid into her body. The twin fell to the floor instantly, but she had enough time to pull out the gun and aim it at Emma, firing a single bullet before falling into unconsciousness. Emma felt a searing pain tear through her right shoulder and her burns and let out a mixture of a sob and a scream. Reid – who was no longer faking his own death – crawled over to her and cradled her in his arms.

“Emma?” he said tentatively “How long have you been able to talk?”

Emma blinked, still unable to hear much more than a slight ringing in her ears.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO TALK?

He had no option but to write it onto her stomach apparently.

“A while,” Emma said a little loudly, but Reid didn’t care.

EXACT TIMES EM.

“Always,” she said a little quieter, noticing the way Reid had moved back when she had first spoken “I just worried you’d think I sounded unintelligent with my squeaky voice.”

I THINK IT’S ADORABLE.

Emma smiled and hugged Reid with one arm. He was about to pull his cell phone from his pocket when Derek and Prentiss strolled into his apartment, guns drawn and vests on.

“Where’s the par – oh, you don’t need back-up apparently,” Prentiss said, noticing the lady on the floor.

She saw Emma’s bleeding shoulder and added “But you do need an ambulance.”

Derek helped Emma over to Reid’s couch and she leant forward, trying to keep as much blood off his furniture as possible. It seemed odd to care about cleanliness when she’d just been shot, but since Emma knew she wouldn’t bleed out it seemed perfectly natural to her. In the ambulance, Morgan had attempted to type out the entire situation for Emma to Reid, appreciating the chance to see the face of another person in the world who cared about her. As it turned out, the boy named Jonathan happened to only have lost his father in the crash – the woman in the apartment was his mother who sought revenge for the death of her husband and the relationship between Lani and her son. The old woman was just spiteful and she was cleared of all charges; however, the son admitted to raping Emma and she merely nodded when she read the sentence. She knew that if she tried to speak, she would only squeak or sob and that was the last thing Reid needed to see – pain and suffering. From what Morgan had told her, his addiction and autism were tough enough to deal with. Pushing her own thoughts aside, Emma let her eyes move to Reid, who was seated next to Morgan in the ambulance. He looked pale, but her smirk brought a small smile to his face.

“I’ll be fine Reid, relax,” Emma said, her voice growing quiet the longer she spoke “We know who did it and justice will be served.”

Morgan’s eyes bugged out of his head and he typed a question on his phone, which made Emma laugh. She only nodded.


	8. The List Goes On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid decides things have moved slowly long enough and takes another step toward his goal, bringing Emma closer to him than ever before.

Emma had now been living with Reid for a month and her hearing was finally coming back to her. It was so muffled she felt like someone had cupped their hands over her ears, but no matter how much she waited it seemed as though it would never be the same. She had begun teaching Reid small phrases in Welsh and developed a bad habit of swearing in Japanese so as not to annoy Reid when she was analysing information for the BAU. Though she couldn’t hear and translate verbally, she continually used her laptop to write down translations of notes and other information while simultaneously learning other languages. To Reid’s surprise, she had also begun writing a novel in amongst their heavy workloads. The list had been almost completely forgotten in this time, as Emma had learnt to appreciate her work and even bought an old voice recorder to make tapes of herself using phrases – an expensive hobby she paid for on her own. Occasionally, Reid would pass her by and mutter something in Welsh that she couldn’t hear or he would say good morning to her by writing it on her shoulder. The only time they spoke (of course Reid would write) was when a case happened to coincide with their two departments (a rare occurrence) and when they came home. Morgan had been jabbing Reid in the ribs recently about something when Emma had passed the cubicle he worked in one afternoon, but dismissed it as playful banter. After a while, Emma decided to ask Reid about his personal life and heard about Reid’s addiction for the second time, but from a more intimate perspective. When he began to cry, she hummed _Greensleeves_ , much to Reid’s delight. Though he was still teary-eyed, his head was resting on her shoulder and they were perusing _50,000 Leagues Under the Sea_. He was smiling. Every time he was ready for the page to be turned, he would sit his hand on the right side of the book – an almost instant movement – which made Emma laugh. His eidetic memory sometimes failed him, but apparently it had forgotten enough that he had to look at the page and read it for a moment before looking up to read it in his mind. Through the night Reid was curled up and had been shaking and shivering through his dreams, making Emma nervous. He didn’t want to be close and she understood that he needed his space, so she moved into the living room onto the couch they had been sitting quite comfortably on, only to have a familiar face stare down at her, tears trying to pry their way through Reid’s lashes. He blinked and they fell onto the floor.

DID I WAKE YOU?

Emma picked up her laptop and handed it to Reid, much to his subtle but noticeable dismay.

“No,” she said flatly “you seemed to be having a nightmare and I thought I should leave you to cope with it alone in case I ever leave.”

Reid stared at Emma for a moment, unblinking. He sat next to her, crossed his legs and began typing furiously.

_Why would you leave? The boy and his mother are in jail for their crimes and I have feelings for you... why would you leave?_

“Well maybe I wouldn’t leave, but sometimes I might not be here. If I manage to make friends at the office I might stay with a girlfriend for a while and you’ll be here alone. People don’t last forever Reid.”

Reid’s mind flashed to the times he’d seen dead bodies and they made him realise something: Emma had become one of the people he wished **would** last forever, just like Prentiss, JJ and even Hotch. Reid put the laptop down and unfolded his legs, grabbing a piece of paper from the dining room table. He sat it on Emma’s lap and she couldn’t understand what was wrong, besides the arrow on the list sitting in between kissing and intercourse that pointed to a single word starting with M.

“I don’t get it – it’s still the same list Reid,” Emma said with a mixture of confusion and amusement on her face.

Reid pulled out a marker from his satchel and crossed off the word kissing and smiled. Emma’s eyes widened a little and Reid quickly wrote on her hand. He completely forgot the laptop abandoned on the floor.

I’VE KISSED SOMEONE BEFORE. I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN – WITH YOU.

Emma was taken aback, but this sudden mood swing seemed out of place. Was this what Morgan had been pestering him about? His feelings for her? It wasn’t as if nobody at the BAU knew they had become an item. Prentiss found it adorable. Her mutterings to Reid had left him blushing and he would refuse to meet Emma’s gaze for a whole night after it happening. Whenever she asked Reid what was wrong, he just blushed and dismissed it as a joke he didn’t understand. Pulling herself to the present, Emma moved the list to one side on the arm of the couch and Reid scooted closer to her. Their lips were almost touching when Emma leaned in to wrap one arm around his shoulder. Reid darted forward and brought his hands to the sides of Emma’s head, holding her still and he pressed their lips together and brushed his tongue past hers. The passion behind it was maddening and his hands soon moved down to her neck; they finally came to rest on her shoulders. It was a little clumsy, but soon Emma heard something like a groan and they broke apart, panting slightly. She pressed her head to Reid’s and he kissed her cheek, her heart racing in her chest as if she’d run a marathon. Reid was talking by her ear, but Emma couldn’t understand a word of it, so she shook her head.

“I can’t hear you Mr I-Know-Everything,” Emma said wickedly with a grin.

Reid smiled and planted a quick kiss on Emma’s lips. Suddenly, the list popped into her head as he led her back to their shared bedroom. Did he even know what he was doing? Had he ever tried it before? What if her hearing came back and he happened to be... vocal? If the faint sound of a groan he made during their kiss was anything to go by, he would be. Reid put out a hand and Emma took it, letting him lead her to the bedroom. Reid shamelessly took off his shirt and Emma let her eyes linger on his lithe, lanky form for a moment before tucking herself back into the covers. She saw his shadow move to the bed and felt the mattress sink under his weight, his warm chest pressing into her back. Reid kissed Emma on the cheek and they both fell asleep, awaiting a lazy Sunday of paperwork (sadly, for both of them) and linguistics.


	9. Seeing Isn't Always Believing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid hasn't researched much new information in a while and Emma just happens to catch him enjoying it a little too much...

The next morning Emma woke up early and made herself some toast, quickly wolfing it down so that she wouldn’t have to be in the apartment for too much longer than was necessary. He might not choose today, but she would much rather be safe than sorry. Emma was walking into the bathroom when Reid emerged from the bedroom in boxers, completely shirtless. Her face must have become redder, because Reid smiled wider than she’d seen him do before and closed her in a tight hug.

“What was that for?” Emma asked as Reid moved over to make himself a bowl of cereal.

Reid poured himself out some cereal and took hold of Emma’s wrist, writing his answer on her open palm.

BECAUSE I CAN.

Emma smiled and turned around, leaning on the counter.

“Any plans for today?” she asked with a smile.

Reid’s smile drooped a little and his face wet an odd shade of pink.

I HAVE RESEARCH TO DO SO I NEED YOU TO KEEP QUIET. AND DON’T RUN INTO MY STUDY UNANNOUNCED BECAUSE IT’S A SENSITIVE TOPIC.

Emma nodded and then gave a salute. She hadn’t realised until a week ago that Reid had a study next to his bathroom – she’d only been moving between the table and the couch and had not noticed it until recent times.

“Yes sir,” she said before laughing.

Reid quirked a brow and dismissed the laughter. For a while Emma sat at the table working on some more Italian, quietly whispering the phrases and words under her breath that she was reading from a textbook. Reid was on the other side of the table admiring Emma’s concentration on her work, never letting his unwavering stare deter her from her pursuit of language; sometimes he wondered if she thought in another language so as not to forget it. She was supposed to be a genius, after all. When he was finished eating, Reid pressed a quick kiss to Emma’s cheek and went into the bedroom to change into more appropriate attire. When Reid emerged, he was wearing a crisp pale blue shirt, a knitted brow vest and beige pants with his black laced shoes. He was always dressed as if he were going to a formal occasion and Emma had come to realise that – for Reid – every day was a formal occasion. He opened the door to his study and then promptly closed it, moving books from a shelf to his desk. They slammed onto the desk inside the study loudly enough to make Emma jump, but not enough to really scare her. After a while of attempting to hear her own voice, Emma sat back in her seat and gave a quiet sigh of annoyance. She could write in multiple languages, but speaking was impossible. She could easily mispronounce a word and make a mistake, leading to confrontations she would rather not have to endure. If and when she managed to hear again, she might be able to go with agents into the field and be a translator – that had been her goal for some time, but her hearing was still muffled enough that words were difficult to distinguish. Emma felt as though there was now a paper-thin barrier between her ear canal and the outside world, as if it would shatter and her hearing would return if the wind blew hard enough. Emma was about to go to the fridge and collect some orange juice form the refrigerator when a strange sound came from the study. It sounded like Reid had dropped one of his books. Emma rolled her eyes and picked up the juice from the inside of the refrigerator door, listening to a second sound come from Reid’s study. This time it was a book sliding across the table. _God he can read fast!_ Emma went back to reading her books when she heard another sound and the door between her and the outside world seemed to close around her so that only one sound was entering her ears and only one image would burn into her mind. She wasn’t listening to Reid drop a book on the floor or move one across the desk in his study. She was listening to him gasp, groan and hold back the sounds someone only made when they... Alarmed beyond words, Emma covered her ears. The cars out in the street were driving across the road, a small _whoosh_ telling her that her hearing had arrived just in time to catch Reid in the middle of pleasuring himself.

“And he calls it research,” Emma laughed to herself, careful not to be too loud in case Reid heard her.

She would have to pretend not to hear for at least another day or so, or else Reid would know what she’d heard, leading to a bout of anxiety. Given the symptoms he’d exerted in the past (examples courtesy of Prentiss) of isolating himself emotionally, it would probably change him for the worse. As time went on, the groans grew quieter and Reid seemed to be growing breathless. Emma put in her earphones and smiled to herself, wondering if Reid was thinking of her or simply getting rid of the tension that had built up because they always slept in the same bed. The more she thought about it, the more her cheeks seemed to grow warm, realising that the latter would only lead to the former. When she heard Reid’s chair scrape against the floor of the study, Emma practically ripped the earphones out of her ears and placed them onto the table where she had left them after meticulously editing a piece of tape according to Reid’s instructions. They worked well as a team. Reid opened the study’s door and walked into the bedroom, only to emerge and enter the bathroom... or had it been the other way around? Emma smirked when she realised Reid was clearing away all evidence that he had just touched himself in his study and she couldn’t really blame him.


	10. On The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the last chapter, but from Reid's side of the door...

Reid closed the door and sank into the desk chair, skimming over pages he had seen a thousand times before. Old and new text books all detailing the female anatomy, right down to the parts of a woman that could only be seen in an x-ray or an ultrasound. He was quick to swap over to informational books that he had found as a teenager. He soon picked up the newest book he had begun reading a week ago and knew that most of the chapters were about puberty, so he skipped over them. He already knew about that: he just needed to understand sex from the female point of view and soon he found it. The details seemed grim, talking about tearing a thin membrane of skin called a hymen which would cause women pain. However, the author seemed to disagree and claimed that with the correct stimulation, the pain would be minimal or almost unnoticeable. He looked between the older, more scientific drawings and eventually began blushing too much to read any further. The things the book about sex and puberty was discussing seemed so inappropriate to him. What would pushing a finger into a woman’s body do besides break this small barrier? Then a thought dawned on him – if Emma had been raped, wouldn’t it have hurt **more** than if she had been having sex with someone she trusted? Pushing the thought from his mind, Reid unconsciously sat a hand on his thigh. He hadn’t had time to think on it until now, but Emma had a very beautiful face: pale, a few beauty spots lining her left cheekbone, lips of a deep but not overbearing pink and her neck was pristine white, not a single blemish... and suddenly he was imagining her chest. Usually his mind didn’t wander this far, save for JJ and a couple of other women he’d been close to when he was younger. He was actually afraid to think of Prentiss that way should she attempt to castrate him for being so perverted. For once, he couldn’t help it. The woman on the page that he saw nude in the medical journal seemed to be shorter, a little rounder in the face and started looking more and more like the woman sitting outside the study. Reid’s pants felt more constricting than usual and he shifted in his seat, knocking a book off of his desk. Outside in the kitchen, he heard the fridge open. He looked down only to realise that he found himself in the same predicament as he has a few years ago – sporting an erection that didn’t seem to want to go away. Just this once, he wouldn’t feel guilty about touching himself. Besides, after a little over a decade, it was almost like he deserved it Reid was shaking, as if he thought his genitals would jump out and attack him. After all the sentences about how much damage this organ seemed to do to women, he was almost afraid he would make the same mistake. Gluing his eyes to the page of the newer book, Reid began reading about foreplay while also undoing a single button and the zip on his pants. He looked down and gulped before resting a hand over his crotch, unable to stifle a quiet gasp. Pulling his bottom lip into his mouth, Reid slid a hand down against his stomach and into his boxer shorts, letting his mind wander to the kiss he had shared with Emma only the night before. It had been clumsy, but the feeling of her chest against his and even the warmth radiating from her body aroused his hidden desires. He wasn’t going to last as long as he would if self-pleasuring had been a part of his weekly routine but he never seemed to have time for it. He imagined them both curled up together, all the while his hand move backwards and forwards over himself, steady but fast-paced. He would kiss her neck gently and then roll her over to claim her mouth as his. Again, gentleness was his aim, but he wanted possession over her, so it would be a bit less careful than the first. Reid slowed his pace a little and kept his imagination working overtime. After they’d been kissing for what felt like an eternity, he would slowly pull off Emma’s shirt and then her bra... but he only encountered a mental blank. He’d never seen a woman naked in his life save for the dead, but the thought didn’t cross his mind in that moment. He instead kissed at Emma’s neck and manoeuvred himself to leer over her, his arms either side of her head. In his mind, she smiled and seemed to beckon his to move closer to her. Reid’s moaning had been loud and he didn’t care for once. She couldn’t hear him and there was no way he could keep quiet when the object of his fantasy was sitting outside that very door, unaware that she had become the sole thought of his mind for the past five minutes. His breathing was growing shallow and his stomach felt knotted. There was somewhere less embarrassing he could do this – he would have to risk being seen with a tent in his pants, but he didn’t plan on dirtying his pants or desecrating his desk more than he already had. Reid hadn’t realised it until now, but he had been gripping it like a lifeline as his orgasm drew nearer. Walking to the door, he opened it and looked over at Emma, who was reading her book another linguist had leant her – Italian of all languages. Ducking into the bedroom, Reid closed the door and composed himself before walking back out and into the bathroom. As soon as he had closed and locked it, he threw his new set of pants and t-shirt onto the towel rack. He turned on the shower and quickly divested himself of his clothes, unwilling to look down at the predicament he had left himself in. Stepping under the warm spray, Reid braced himself with one arm on the wall while the other slithered to his aching groin. His hand went back to sliding along his length, the warm water falling over Reid’s shoulder and hiding the sharp intakes of breath he was taking. Reid pictured Emma naked under him and he was doing what the book had told him – he was making her experience pleasure just as he was now. His hands would dance across her skin as if he had begun playing an elaborate instrument and she would make breathy moans that caused his blood to boil. With that image burnt into his mind as if by a branding iron, it brought on a feeling comparable to molten lava pooling in his stomach, only for it to leave him in a brilliant rush that made his body quake. When his body had finally stopped shaking, Reid opened his eyes and looked down at his hand. Unable to keep his eyes on it for much longer, he grabbed the cake of soap and a washcloth, quickly wiping away the evidence of his self-indulgence. It has splattered over the shower’s tiled wall and dripped down off of his hand. It felt so wrong and so right all at once. He didn’t know how to feel. But he did know one thing: he had wanted nothing more than to make his fantasy a reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me or did it get hot in here?! ;)


	11. As Fate Would Have It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Reid complete the list.

Reid hadn’t spoken for the past two days since he spent the ‘alone time’ in his study and Emma was barely able to stop herself from turning when she heard him enter a room (the flesh-coloured ear-plugs had helped cut out most sounds) so she had planned to reveal that she could hear tonight when Reid got home late. She’d gotten the text a whole hour ago and it felt like the right time to say something to him. Of course he could never know what she’d heard him do. Reid sent a text saying that he was downstairs and headed up, so Emma hid behind the door. She would hear his voice for the first time rather than heavy breathing and groans. Somehow, it was equally as exciting as their first kiss or seeing his face. He had spoken to her, she was sure, in her sleep and throughout the day when she wasn’t looking at him. He had become light in the darkness that surrounded her and a sound in the silence that encompassed her. He had become her everything. Reid walked through the door and looked around, completely stumped. Had Emma gone out to see Prentiss or JJ and his godsons? Out of nowhere, arms wrapped themselves around his waist and he heard Emma’s voice come from under her dark hair. Her face was hidden under every lock of it, muffling her voice.

“Say something to me, please,” Emma whispered, her frustration coming out in a blur of words “If I did something wrong then tell me.”

Reid moved his satchel over his head at the speed of light and dropped it on the ground before picking Emma up under her knees.

“Tell me the next time you plan on eavesdropping,” he said matter-of-factly “It’s very disconcerting when you realise somebody knows what you’ve been... **working on** , behind closed doors.”

Emma leant up in Reid’s arms and kissed him, letting him carry her into the bedroom and lay her gently on the bed.

“How did you figure it out?” Emma asked as Reid assumed a rather dominant position directly above her.

His hands were sitting near her shoulders to keep himself steady, his right leg sitting in between her knees.

“I’m as smart as you are Em,” Reid said, leaning in to kiss Emma’s cheek “And I saw the ear-plugs yesterday because you forgot to take them out before going to bed.”

“I like your voice you know,” Emma whispered, pushing Reid over with an unsettling ease “You sound scared yet confident, bold but humble... and sexy of course.”

Emma smirked and Reid felt his face grow warm as a blush filled his cheeks. Sensing his unease, Emma rolled onto her side and Reid did the same, placing a hand on her hip. His thumb began drawing small circles and Emma realised that if this were to continue on, she would need to take the first step. Emma now took up the same position as Reid, but unlike him, she sat with her legs on either side of his hips, being careful not to brush his crotch. She didn’t want to scare him into hiding by coming on too strongly.

“Are you sure about this?” they both said simultaneously.

Emma moved her head to one side and laughed.

“How could I convince you I’m fine with this then?” she said with a mischievous smile.

Reid had gone silent and avoided her eyes. _No, no, don’t do this Reid..._

“How... Why are you...” Reid couldn’t find the words he was looking for.

“You want to know how I can think of going through this even though everything happened just over a month ago, right?”

Reid only nodded and sat up, coming eye to eye with Emma. She sat a hand on his shoulder and pressed her forehead gently to his, putting a feather light kiss to his lips.

“He tried to be gentle” Emma said so faintly Reid could barely hear her “He didn’t mean for it to turn out the way it did. I was uncomfortable with it of course and I screamed loudly enough to hurt my voice... but there wasn’t any violence behind it. He just didn’t seem to know what he was doing.”

Reid’s face had gone pale as Emma’s socks and he tried to push her away. Emma grabbed onto his forearms and looked into his eyes.

“You wouldn’t do that,” she said firmly “You’re too kind, too gentle, and too chaste to be like that. I’m not afraid of this and you shouldn’t be either.”

Reid’s eyes had gone glassy as tears formed in their depths and Emma cupped his cheek.

“Don’t fight what you feel, embrace it.”

With those words, Emma wrapped her arms around Reid’s shoulders, resting her cheek on his shoulder. As if confirming his decision, she felt his lips graze her neck. It was so sudden she could only huff in amusement. Emma’s hands automatically moved to Reid’s hair – it had grown out enough that she could no longer see her fingers, leaving behind only the back of her palm. Reid moved his trail of kisses down to her collarbone, his hands shaking as he tried to move his hands up her side to lift her shirt. Emma pushed his hands away and did it herself. He seemed to be enjoying seeing her in a bra too much to complain about not doing it himself. Reid was determined to prove he was no idiot and ran his still-trembling hands up Emma’s sides to her plain white bra. Reid pulled his lower lip into his mouth and felt for the clasp on Emma’s back. When he found it, it came apart with a quick pull and release. Emma grinned and let the bra slide down over her arms and cast it haphazardly over the side of the bed. Reid’s eyes darted over to it for a split second and she knew his OCD tendencies were poking at him to go and pick it up. However, the speed at which he began kissing her shoulders and collarbone after this momentary lapse told her he wanted her more than he did folded clothes. Reid moved back and let his eyes drop to Emma’s chest and his blind spot cleared away in his head. He had planned on being in her position quite literally, but she had assumed a dominant stance in this situation and he wasn’t about to change it unless he had to. With this new view of Emma’s skin, he could see the last of her burns fading away to nasty scars and dips in her skin. Emma leant forward and kissed him full on the lips, letting him take control despite being underneath her. Reid pulled her in close, pressing her chest closer to his. It seemed as though he wanted to stall losing his own clothes and she’d give him the chance. He had gotten so good at kissing she could barely believe it – a single peck on the cheek made her skin warm, but the more passionate ones set her nerves on fire. Reid was panting as he lifted his hands and began undoing the buttons down the front of his shirt, his hands trembling a little as he went. At least he was remembering to breathe.

 

Some Time Later...

 

Reid had been so careful with himself through the process so far. He learnt that a light nip at the neck was just as good as a kiss and always stopped himself from leaving a mark. He’d been more than cautious when his hands had to venture below her underwear and he even seemed repulsed for a moment. That changed when he saw that the movement of his hands made Emma moan as loudly as he had when he was on his own. Apparently knowing the theory helped with the practical side of sex – he would keep that mental note to himself of course. They reached the hardest part of the evening and Reid seemed so tense he could easily have been mistaken for a statue. Their faces were both decorated with a thin sheen of sweat and light blushes in their cheeks. Reid hadn’t let Emma do anything more than kiss him or nip at his neck (the sound he made at that point was bordering on a growl) and she thought about the possibilities as to why he’d planned it this way. Perhaps selflessness or the thought of putting her through pain? Or was he thinking of stamina? Whatever the case, he seemed to be denying himself an act of selfishness. She would change that the next time this happened. Reid was kissing at Emma’s neck one last time, his groin rubbing up against her thigh. Emma felt her way along his back and sat up, pulling at the hem of his boxers with her thumbs. Reid pushed her hands away and did it himself, the feeling of exposure making his skin crawl. He wouldn’t be able to get used to this as quickly as he’d hoped he would. Now Reid’s shaking had become worrying. Had they come this far only to let the moment pass? Emma thought about it, but she knew all he needed was a push in the right direction. She whispered in Reid’s ear and he stopped shaking, listening only to her words.

“Sit back and relax a little Reid.”

Reid sat back where he was and Emma sat in his lap, his arousal pressed between them. He couldn’t look her in the eye for a time, perhaps considering leaving the room or forgetting the whole thing. Reid got up the courage to look into Emma’s eyes and for a moment he was breathless. Emma’s eyes didn’t contain fear or worry for her own body or the pain and discomfort of sex; she was concerned for him and was fully prepared to stop. It would be torturous to let her stop here, so he gave a nod and Emma took it as a sign to continue on. She placed Reid’s hands on her hips and her hand disappeared between them. She moved herself into position, her heart beating in her chest like a hammer on cloth. Letting gravity take a hold of her limbs, Emma slowly moved down onto Reid and felt her body stretching in a way it never had before. It hurt and she couldn’t help digging her nails into Reid’s shoulder, letting a small sound of pain escape her lips. Reid leant in and wrapped his arms around her back, comforting her as she slowly lowered herself further. He could feel her body moving around him, grabbing at him while she tried to fight the pain. It was hard not to move like his instincts told him to, but Reid knew that a single movement could amplify the pain. Emma finally sat deathly still, a small sob entering Reid’s ear. Out of pure fright, he spoke.

“I’m sorry, I said I wouldn’t hurt you. I’m sorry Em,” Reid muttered.

Emma hugged Reid and pulled him flush against her, kissing his cheek and then his lips.

“I’m fine now,” she said, venturing as far as to move her hips.

Now she wasn’t in pain – she was half way between agony and ecstasy. _It’s a wonder how the body works_ , she thought with a small smile.


	12. A Bright but Distant Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Reid have initiated a physical relationship, but now they must brave a new trial... their colleagues.
> 
> Thank you for the kudos, love and support,
> 
> Madzie2000

Emma was half asleep, staring at the wall when Reid rolled over and threw an arm over her waist, pulling her tightly against his chest and kissing her neck.  
“How long do you think it’ll take the others to figure out your not a virgin anymore?” Emma said with a smile, closing her eyes as she relaxed into his arms.  
Reid laughed quietly into her ear.  
“Oh I’d say... as soon as they see me,” Reid said as he sat up.  
His mind had decided to put the proceedings of the night on a loop in his dreams and it had come to feel like a dream. But considering that Emma was completely nude and he was only wearing his boxer shorts again, Reid could in fact confirm for himself that he could now be called a man. No doubt Morgan would have a field day asking him how many times he cried or how terrible sex really was. The answer was yes, it was horrible, but not for long. Grinning to himself, Reid picked up the clothes that were on the floor and passed Emma the clothes she was missing. She only put on the bare necessities and got dressed for the day. He had called in to say he’d be late, but as to what the others would have to say about his newest conquest, it would probably be the worst part of his day. Once they’d eaten breakfast, Emma and Reid went out to the car and Reid drove to the BAU. Emma was attempting not to laugh when she saw the small pale blue car for the first time. Reid seemed to know how to drive it well enough, but the sheer age of it was ridiculous. Given his liking of order and predictability, the fact that he’d kept the old car this long wasn’t as much of a surprise as it would be to anybody else. Reid asked Emma to go with him to the shared space, where Prentiss, JJ and the others were standing around chatting while they had the chance. Prentiss, who had been calmly sipping coffee, suddenly spat it out and sprayed Morgan.  
“Thanks,” he said curtly “Planned on buying a new shirt anyway.”  
JJ fell silent and Morgan stood there looking like a mannequin, not having much of a clue as to what was wrong with Reid and Emma. He always led her through the office to get to the small area closed off for translations, since an official department hadn’t yet been created.  
“Morning everyone,” Emma said with a smile “I can hear you all now, so uh... if you have something to say, speak now or forever hold your peace.”  
Prentiss walked over to Reid and clapped a hand to his shoulder.  
“Good job, Lover Boy,” she said a little too loudly, drawing Morgan’s attention.  
Morgan’s eyes seemed to jump out of his head for a moment and Emma held back a laugh with great difficulty. Reid went pink in the cheeks and Emma had done the same, walking over to him and putting an arm around his waist.  
“Was it Prentiss who asked you about having a little Genius running around?” Emma said as she gave Prentiss a wink.  
“Well... it wouldn’t be terrible,” Reid said quietly.  
“Okay, someone pinch me... I swear Reid is talking about making babies!” Morgan said from his perch on a nearby desk.  
JJ smiled and called out “Kiss her, Lover Boy.”  
Hotch walked in and grimaced for all of them to see.  
“Please don’t – I just had lunch,” he grumbled.  
He grinned and Reid’s eyebrows jumped.  
“I don’t do that in front of an audience,” Reid said, raising his hands as if in defeat.  
Emma turned him to face her and said with a grin “Too bad, might make Hotch laugh for the first time in his life.”  
Reid quirked a brow and took a gentle hold of Emma’s hands, leaning down and planting a rather passionate kiss on her lips. A sudden ruckus came up from the offices around them as Reid pulled Emma in close to him and she threw her arms around his neck. When they broke apart Reid was blushing madly.  
“Okay, shows over!” Emma shouted and Hotch laughed, making every eye in the room fall on the older man.  
“It was funny,” he said in a serious tone and people began nodding to avoid losing their heads.  
Morgan went to his desk and Emma gave Reid a kiss on the cheek before heading to her small and not-quite-official Translation Department.  
“See you soon Reid,” she said with a smile.  
“See you soon Em,” he called back.

One year later...

Emma was in Derek Morgan’s back garden with his son Hank, JJ’s sons Henry and Michael and a decent crowd of people from the BAU. She had no idea revealing the gender of a baby required this many people, but Spencer was having the time of his life, talking to his 2 godsons and entertaining the young boys while simultaneously holding a conversation with Morgan. Garcia was off to one side talking with Prentiss and JJ while Emma watched Hotch scan the crowd, keeping an eye on those who seemed a bit too tipsy and made sure he kept them away from the children. All of a sudden, Hotch began shouting over every other voice in the garden and made her bulging stomach tremble. He had amazing projection, even for someone in his old age.  
“OKAY CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE? We’re about to find out whether there is a baby boy or baby girl on the way and only I know the results.”  
Reid raced over to Emma with the three boys walking beside him, big smiles on their faces.  
“Uncle Reid, I hope it’s a girl!” Henry said with a toothy smile “Then she can be a damsel and we can all save her like you do!”  
Reid laughed and Emma made a face that spoke only of surprise and promise. Hotch walked over to Emma and raised his gun in the air.  
“The colour of the smoke that comes from my gun will tell us whether Emma is having a boy or a girl... considering the wedding was just over a month ago, I’d say this is pretty quick to be expecting but... I don’t know anybody who’d make a better father than the man with two godchildren,” Hotch said to the crowd, a tear in his eye.  
They laughed at his jibe and Reid seemed to flinch.  
“Ready Emma?” Garcia said, grabbing a hold of Emma’s hand.  
“Of course... Hotch, take it away,” Emma said with a bright smile.  
“With pleasure.”  
Hotch aimed his gun into the air and fired his gun, purple smoke appearing in a trail behind it. Reid was grinning from ear to ear but Emma had to think for a moment before addressing the overly confused crowd.  
“I’m having twins! A boy and a girl!” Emma shouted.  
Garcia squealed and gave Emma a hug before Reid came over and sat a hand on her stomach, giving her a quick peck on the lips. The boys hated seeing anything more.  
“How can two babies fit in there?” Reid said with a smile, quickly laughing off his nerves and the adrenaline high.  
“I don’t know, but they are... what are we going to name them?” Emma asked.  
“Can I name the girl and you take the boy?” Reid said, his eyes becoming more puppy-like by the second.  
“Sure... how about Derek Matthew Reid? Everybody else named their kids after you.”  
“And then we’d have Emily Carice Reid. You kept saying you wanted to give our children your parent’s names for middle names.”   
“I guess everything turned out perfectly, huh?” Emma said with a smile.  
The boys all came over and put their hands on Emma’s stomach.  
“Is the boy kicking?”  
“Is the girl kicking?”  
“Are they cramped in their Aunty Emma?”  
“Slow down you three, I almost got dizzy listening to you!” Emma laughed.  
The baby kicked and the boys started shouting again, causing JJ and Prentiss to take them away.  
“Emily... we’re naming the girl after you!” Reid called.  
“And tell Derek the boy is taking his name too!” Emma added.  
Prentiss came back and pulled the younger couple into her arms, holding them for a moment.  
“Thank you,” Prentiss said with a smile.  
“You’re welcome... oh wow that was a big kick, did you feel that Emily?”  
Emma pressed her friend’s hand to her stomach and the baby kicked again, seemingly giving his or her approval. Emily hugged Emma and went to speak to Garcia, who squealed again.  
“Do you think life will always be like this Reid?” Emma asked out of the blue “All of us smiling together like this?”  
“No,” Reid said, blunt as ever “But when we do start to lose everybody here, one by one, we’ll always look back at the good we did together. Our children will do the same and the cycle will keep going until humanity or the Earth fade into nothingness.”  
“You really can be a drag sometimes,” Emma said, jokingly punching her husband in the shoulder.  
Reid put an arm around Emma’s back and lifted her off of her feet, causing her to gasp.  
“Sorry... but I did do some weights at least.”  
Emma and Reid laughed and joined in with the party, beginning the rest of their lives... together.


End file.
